Part-time Mom, Full-time Gangster

Sociable, the Tandem Alternative

In the not-too-distant future, there will be no tangible forms of money.

It would be very inconvenient to live near the imaginary line that divides time zones.  I wonder if towns on the border specify whether events are going to occur at 2pm EST or Central, for the convenience of the citizens.  On the bright side, it would be very easy to build a time machine there.

Wayne is Insane

To be or to do, that is the question.

As a child, I always assumed football was synonymous with the NFL, basketball was synonymous with the NBA, etc.  I guess the marketers of major sports leagues are doing their jobs well.

The ocean is blue because the water itself is (slightly) blue.  This is only noticeable with a fairly large amount of water.

Interestingness is the derivate of beauty.

Common Misconceptions

Pitcher Gus Weyhing holds the MLB record for hitting the most batters in a career.  Not exactly the most honorable record.

The term “lol” no longer solely stands for “laughing out loud.”  With the soaring popularity of text messaging, lol has taken on a life of its own.  It is now used in varying contexts, with a meaning that is often something along the lines of “that was funny” (in response to a joke) or “isn’t that funny?” (as in, “this class is pointless like a dull pencil lol.”  Also, it is sometimes just used as a placeholder to respond to a message where no other response is warranted.

To do: Eat a Krispy Kreme cheeseburger

Chess Homosexuality

Crocodiles and alligators come from the same order but a different family.  The latter’s snout is wider than the former’s, giving it a more powerful crushing force.

What’s the difference between the words instantly and instantaneously?

The people who come up with Sky Mall ideas should become scientists and politicians.

Syncing up the cartoon characters’ mouth movements with the audio track of a TV show must be extremely tedious.

The Onion: Equal Opportunities for Slackers

“There’s a moth in the wine.  Not sleeping.  I carried the team on this one.”

“Information is only as valuable as its source.”

"The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science."

Discovery Covers the Jackson 5

Throwin' Spaghetti

I haven't updated SITP in a little bit.  But I guess that's a good thing because it means that I have been doing stuff.  Let's see... Since my last post I went to Six Flags, went to NYC to see a concert (Neon Indian, sorta), went to Philly to see a concert (MGMT), went to Chicago, celebrated a birthday, and finished writing a sitcom, among other things.

So now here I am, back where I started.  It's always fun to do something new.  After all, "spontaneity is the jewel of the Nile."  However, comfort is oft found in repetition and predictability.  Why do you think so many people choose to go to the same 9-5 daily, only to come home to the same house with the same family year after year?

I try to find a middle ground between extemporaneousness and consistency.

Colorado

Fun for the whole family tends to mean fun for the kids.

Poetically speaking, if one of the Beatles was going to be assassinated, I’m glad that it was John Lennon.

A tongue can’t taste itself.

The realization that celebrities are just people, as opposed to the superhuman archetype that they are often made out to be, is a minor example of a personal metaphysical awakening.  If you continue to think this way, you may be surprised with your discoveries.

I wonder if two football players have ever switched uniforms before a game.

I’d rather explore the world than change it.

The naked boy swimming on the cover of Nirvana’s Nevermind now probably talks about it all the time to pick up women.

Trains are becoming obsolete.  The technology involved with the basic freight or passenger train hasn’t evolved much at all in the past 200 years.  Plus, they just feel archaic.  In a couple of generations, trains as we know them will seem as old-fashioned as black and white televisions.

There’s too much advice out there.  Everyone is trying to help each other but no one knows what they want.

Worthless is the opposite of priceless.

Shaq at his finest

Download "Beach City"

Left-handed Piano

“If the government doesn’t trust the people, why doesn’t it dissolve them and elect a new people?”

Inaction in Action

Some religious people claim that religion and science can go hand in hand.  They assert that science can be carefully implemented to learn more about the world that God created.  I generally disagree with this sentiment. 

There is a bit of evidence to support the zealot.  For example, the Big Bang Theory states that both space and time began as a single dimensionless point, called singularity.  Before this moment, spacetime did not exist as we know it.  This singularity, then, may entail some sort of creator from which the universe and thus, life as we know it, was created. 

This seems to give some validity to the aforementioned pious people.  It may be true that religion can use science for certain aspects.  However, the scientific method will surely do away with any conception of a personal god, such as the one depicted within the set of Judeo-Christian-Islamic faiths.  Science encourages questioning the foundations upon which a belief system is based.  From a scientific standpoint, it is quite clear that, as far as we know, there is no such thing as a personal god.  The burden of proof relies on the theist, forcing any rational person to be an atheist.

"Shut the fuck up!"

Is it possible to drive cross country without paying any tolls?

You know those reflective sheets that people put in front of their windshield to keep the car cool on a sunny day?  There should be a car that has those built in to the sides, so you would just need to press a button for them to automatically slide in front of the windshield.

Did you know:  There is a nationwide shortage of clothes hangers, caused by a high tariff.

“Las dias,” said sal.

Why is Sunday considered the weekend if it is the first day of the week?

Myspace is now almost identical to Facebook.

Jimi Hendrix couldn’t read sheet music.  Also, neither could Ray Charles…

Most dogs have never been in a grocery store.

Polar Bear Jokes

"When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me."

“They proved that if you quit smoking, it will prolong your life. What they haven't proved is that a prolonged life is a good thing. I haven't seen the stats on that yet.”

“Hospital gowns are the poor man’s snuggies.”

“Not only is abortion murder but it's also larceny, jaywalking and securities fraud.”

“There is no purpose of life.  There is purpose in life.”

Kelly Clarkson covers the Black Keys

A poem by Christoph Kienzle:


Some
People
Order
Nutmeg
Tofu
Anyway
Nobody
Every
Orders
Unagi
Soup

Literally the Most Expensive Music Video