Cliché Ennui

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Cliché is cliché.

We’re becoming too technological for toilet paper.

Raindrops are spherical because of surface tension.

Biographies generally pick out the most significant portions of an individual’s life.  This makes sense, because it would be pretty boring to read about all of the mundane things that the subject did from day to day.  However, it also skews the depiction of the subject’s life to make it appear more interesting than it probably was.

TO DO:  Go bird-watching.

Has it ever been confirmed that the September 11^th Attacks were on that date because of the 9-1-1 significance, or is it still just speculation?

Kierkegaard was an angsty teen.

I have a button that I can press which will cause you to make noise, wherever you are.  It’s on my cell phone.

I never read in the parentheses.  It’s my choice, isn’t it?

Prejudiced, biased, racist, xenophobic.  They’re different words (look them up).  

Note:  If you decided not to read the preceding parenthetical statement, then you may be ill-informed

The 1950’s felt like the present to the people who lived then.  Weird.  Sixty years from now people will be saying the same thing about the current era.  Weirder.

TV feature:  Pick a few channels that you can rotate through with one button.

There are thousands of scientific research studies done every year.  Statistically speaking, some of them have to yield false results.

Einstein was born on Pi Day.

Q-Tip (from A Tribe Called Quest) and Biggie were cousins (by marriage).

Is nonymous the opposite of anonymous?

Only in America

Piece of dialogue that should appear in a bad comedy:

"That's very kind of you, but I'm unable to accept this award."

"How come?  Do you feel like you don't deserve it?  Or are you too humble?"

"I don't have any hands."

"Cliché is cliché" is cliché.

Tobacco Tea

Your hair smells nice, Abe.

Is it called sitting Indian-style because Indian musicians sit cross-legged when they play traditional instruments?

Cher’s “Believe” was the first hit to use Auto-tune.

Do people still pull the old Three-card Monte/shell game scam?  I’ve only heard about this and seen it in movies.  I think I’d like to give it a try…

Dumpster is trademarked.  It was patented by the Dempster brothers in 1937.

Libraries are places to rent books.  Since when did people start studying there?  I realize that they’re quiet, but that’s only because of convention.  It’s very possible to find a book to checkout in a noisy library.

Inventory fraud increases during recessions.

Maybe OJ’s hands just grew.

Why does every lyrics website have the same annoying ringtone ad that blocks the whole screen?

Oh, that's why.

I bet there are some awesome photos of celebrities that have never been released to the public.  Think about all the shots Yoko Ono has of John Lennon.  No way they were all given to magazines, etc.

“Audition” refers to something that is heard.

EZ-Pass is putting toll booth employees out of work.  Side note:  Do toll booth employees prohibit their family members from using EZ-Pass?

To me, satisfactory always seems to imply just barely satisfactory.

Metaphor for the Times

Mailmen must hate it when you forget to put the flag up.

eBay is pig latin for be.  iBay would make more sense.

People tend to walk on the right side of a walkway, mirroring the way they drive on the right side of the road.  In England, do pedestrians walk on the left side?  What about before cars?

The Walrus

Formal Logical Proof

Premise 1:  Anonymous is equivalent to nameless.

Premise 2:  At Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, when speaking, members say “Hi, may name is _____ and I’m an alcoholic.”

Premise 3:  Nameless entails that there are no names.

Premise 4*:  Alcoholics Anonymous is not nameless.

Conclusion:  Alcoholics Anonymous is not anonymous.

*Note Premise 4 is derived from Premises 2 and 3.

Walking on Water

“Time and space are modes by which we think and not conditions by which we live.”

“They’re not horses, they’re unicorns.”

“I was born with a gun in my hand and a boner.”

Carnivorous Plant

Art is Everywhere

When I listen to music, my mind tends to wander (in ways that are at least partially inspired by the music itself).  I am curious what various people’s thought processes are when listening to a particular song.

Chamomile is the national flower of Russia.  Maybe that’s why Russians are so sleepy.  Zing!*

A fresco painting on the interior roof of the Capitol depicts George Washington becoming a god.

TO DO:  Pay the toll for the car behind me.

“Gillette, the best a man can get” is in iambic tetrameter.

Do father-son picnics actually exist?  I only recall seeing them on cartoons as a kid.  Until proven otherwise, I’m gonna put them on my “List of things that I’ve heard about that don’t exist.”  Also on that list:  unicorns.

Kappa Effect

Ronald Reagan is the most recent US President whose Wikipedia page is open for anyone to edit.

In most of the United States, prostitution is illegal.  However, the porn industry is very successful.  This means that you can’t pay someone for sex, but you can get paid to have sex.

Queen should have covered “December, 1963” by the Four Seasons.

Entertainers often have stage names.  Politicians don’t.  Who made up that rule?

The reason that our wisdom teeth must be pulled is because our brains have evolved to be larger than the skull can handle.

two for the Road

In the future, there will be no physical forms of money.  Instead, each person’s fingerprint (or perhaps iris) will correspond to a file in an electronic database that keeps track of how much “money” he has.  Stores will no longer have cash registers, but retina scanners.

Why don’t hot drinks quench your thirst at all?  You’re still consuming water.

During sunset, at the latitude of the United States, if you travel at about 800mph due west, you will never see the sun fully set.

(It's a Joke)

 “The day after my birthday is not my birthday, mom.”

 “Treason… is only being on the losing side of the revolution.”

“Sometimes you just have to pee in the sink.”

“Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.”

 “Sometimes magic sounds like duct tape.”

*That comment was prejudiced and I do not wish to make any judgments towards Russians as a whole.  Actually, I really only know one Russian person and he isn’t very sleepy at all; he’s quite energetic.  Now that I think about it, I definitely have Russian ancestors.  This doesn’t make me Russian, but it does mean that I have Russian blood.  I am quite tired both now and in general, but I don’t think that my sleepiness is a reflection of the entire Russian population.