Tobacco Tea

Your hair smells nice, Abe.

Is it called sitting Indian-style because Indian musicians sit cross-legged when they play traditional instruments?

Cher’s “Believe” was the first hit to use Auto-tune.

Do people still pull the old Three-card Monte/shell game scam?  I’ve only heard about this and seen it in movies.  I think I’d like to give it a try…

Dumpster is trademarked.  It was patented by the Dempster brothers in 1937.

Libraries are places to rent books.  Since when did people start studying there?  I realize that they’re quiet, but that’s only because of convention.  It’s very possible to find a book to checkout in a noisy library.

Inventory fraud increases during recessions.

Maybe OJ’s hands just grew.

Why does every lyrics website have the same annoying ringtone ad that blocks the whole screen?

Oh, that's why.

I bet there are some awesome photos of celebrities that have never been released to the public.  Think about all the shots Yoko Ono has of John Lennon.  No way they were all given to magazines, etc.

“Audition” refers to something that is heard.

EZ-Pass is putting toll booth employees out of work.  Side note:  Do toll booth employees prohibit their family members from using EZ-Pass?

To me, satisfactory always seems to imply just barely satisfactory.

Metaphor for the Times

Mailmen must hate it when you forget to put the flag up.

eBay is pig latin for be.  iBay would make more sense.

People tend to walk on the right side of a walkway, mirroring the way they drive on the right side of the road.  In England, do pedestrians walk on the left side?  What about before cars?

The Walrus

Formal Logical Proof

Premise 1:  Anonymous is equivalent to nameless.

Premise 2:  At Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, when speaking, members say “Hi, may name is _____ and I’m an alcoholic.”

Premise 3:  Nameless entails that there are no names.

Premise 4*:  Alcoholics Anonymous is not nameless.

Conclusion:  Alcoholics Anonymous is not anonymous.

*Note Premise 4 is derived from Premises 2 and 3.

Walking on Water

“Time and space are modes by which we think and not conditions by which we live.”

“They’re not horses, they’re unicorns.”

“I was born with a gun in my hand and a boner.”