I have a good idea for a romantic comedy to get a bit of publicity and have some fun. When it comes out in theaters, during one of the screenings, the movie should interact with the crowd. The pivotal scene in the movie, unbeknownst to the audience, will be acted out live by the original actor and actress, but filmed and displayed in real time, as if it were a normal part of the movie. A crew member in the theater will secretly find a couple making out and call the movie set, letting the actors know where they are sitting and what they look like. The actors will then stop reciting the script, turn towards the camera (as if they are looking at the audience) and say, “Excuse me: Are you making out? Yeah, that’s right. I’m talking to the couple wearing matching red jumpsuits in the back row. Do you realize this is the fucking climax of the movie? How dare you! I don’t go into your office and start locking lips while you’re trying to do your job. Have a little respect!” The movie will then resume.
Nardwuar Interviews During an Interview
Good joke for purchasing a leather wallet: If I buy this, I won’t have anything left to put in it!
I’m just gonna go out on a limb here and guess what kind of tree this is.
Where do new boats come from if they’re all female?
I don’t recall ever learning about semi-colons in school; it was something that I picked up on the streets. For some reason language arts didn’t cover it. And who decided that learning about interrogative sentences was an art?
I thought they should have a suggestion box, but didn’t know how to express myself.
“Any travel is time travel.”
In the United States, it is illegal to discriminate based on skin color, but eye color is fair game. Apparently, one is trivial and one is a hate crime.
I can eat part of the cake and have the other part.
FBI, HTML, and KFC are initialisms, not acronyms. It’s only considered an acronym if you pronounce the group of letters as a word (e.g. scuba).
I don’t have anything hanging above my bed because I’m scared it will fall and hit my head while I’m asleep. What’s the term for that phobia?
Perfect pitch is more common among people who speak tonal languages (like Chinese).
"Monogamy... is not in your DNA."
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