Metaleptic Pataphor

Ethnocentrism is the idea that people tend to believe that their personal culture is is the standard against which all is measured.  This concept is implicitly cultivated in the minds of children as they grow up.  It seems that people are naturally hard-wired to perceive the world from a single point of view, and do not try to consider the fact that different folks in different parts of the world in different cultures share different ideals and have different behaviors.


A blind man listens very closely to his surroundings, while a deaf man treasures his sight.  A bat uses sonar to detect where prey may be, while an insect waves its antennae around.  Children in wealthy neighborhoods play tennis, while their peers in the inner city play basketball.  My point is that various groups of people share various customs and have varied values.  This leads to completely eclectic world views.


Because there are so many different personal philosophies, reasons for existence, lists of ideals, etc., it doesn't make sense to hold everyone accountable for the same universal list of values.  Specifically, I am referring any type of law, regulation, rule, or religion that is imposed on a group of people.  I understand that "without any laws, the world would be chaotic."  However, at least in theory, there is no reason why a governing body should determine what someone else can and cannot do.  But I digress...

The maximum penalty for threatening a US judge is 10 years imprisonment.  That is double the maximum penalty for threatening a US president.

Is there a really a big difference between a virus that effects humans and one that effects computers?

Bluetooth devices are named after Harald “Bluetooth” Gormsson, a king of Denmark.  This is evident by the Bluetooth logo, which contains the Nordic symbols for “H.B.”

Bowling is definitely one of the lamest sports.  It is a stretch to say that it involves competition, as your actions are never based on the actions of your competitor.  On every turn, your strategy is identical:  knock as many pins down as possible.  Once you figure out how to bowl a strike, repetition of this action will eventually cause it to become part of your muscle memory.  There is slightly more physical activity than, say, golf, but significantly less than almost any other sport.  Also, most professional bowlers look like cops.

Only the phone numbers 555-0100 through 555-0199 are currently reserved for fictional use.  Other 555 numbers may be actual phone numbers.

With the advent of synthetic opiates, heroin has become passé.  It died out in the 90s with Kurt Cobain.

TRIVIA TIME:

“Tongue,” “dish,” and “Broadway” are all metonyms.  Can you figure out what a metonym is? 

Malcolm Gladwell Interview

I hate when, at concerts, the lead singer points the microphone at the crowd instead of singing the lines himself.  I came here to see you perform.  I can hear myself sing in the shower whenever I want.

Bananas are berries.

The beginning of “Sleepyhead” by Passion Pit features a sample from a Jack Kerouac spoken word album. (0:24 into the video)

The United States does not have an official language.

Fun with grammar!

 

“Put your hands down, bitch.  I ain’t gonna shoot you.  I’ma pull you to this bullet and put it through you.”

“Curiosity killed the cat but for awhile I was a suspect.”

“The search for connections is the search for connectedness.”

Dir. by Spike Jonze

Empathy for the Devil

Zealous, contemplative, relieved.  These are all words to describe that feeling that you get when you finish reading a book.  A good book can be an adventure, or at least some kind of a trip.  After investing hours into consuming the ideas of an author, it is extremely satisfying to finally read the last chapter and close the book.  Now, it is up to you, the reader, to interpret the meaning behind the ink.

I have an abundance of time on my hands this summer, so it is nice to be able to spend some quality time with a novel and slowly move my bookmark farther away from the front cover.  The feeling of finishing a book is not quite as exhilarating as climbing a mountain, and not quite as tasty as eating a cupcake, but it is equally as rewarding.  So the next time you finish a book, take a deep breath and pat yourself on the back.  But not if you're in public, or else people will stare.

The Religious Way to Embrace

ImagiNation

Alfred Nobel, for whom the Nobel Prize is named, invented dynamite.

The Zimbabwe Situation

Police in low-crime suburban areas should pick up trash while patrolling on foot, much like security guards at amusement parks.

Is it possible to not be a citizen of any country?

Bill Nye is the current Humanist of the Year.

When an organization states “integrity” as one of their virtues, they are just bullshitting you.  Integrity is basically a synonym for consistency.  It means that the organization does not contradict itself in terms of its ideals.  The Nazis had strong integrity in their beliefs.  Integrity in and of itself should not be a key virtue, as this already should be implied.

Bill Clinton pardoned his brother, Roger, who was in jail for cocaine possession.

This space intentionally left blank.

There is a city in Alaska called “North Pole.”

The on/off switches on lamps should glow in the dark.

It's Working

Why do some coupons have a cash value of a fraction of a penny?

Take Away Shows

 Specialized personal compliments are much more flattering than generic ones.

I’m getting kind of sick of bands that claim that their music does not belong to a specific genre.

Guess the Group:  

To end the extreme oppression of men and boys in mutually consensual relationships.

Quotes

“Never index your own book.”

“Roman candles and empty liquor handles and a way with words.”

“Spit out your lies and chewing gum.”

“Peculiar travel suggestions are dancing lessons from God.”

Summer Daze

The Quietest Place in the World

There should be a common app for jobs in a specific field or pay-range.

A devout Christian cannot be a Marine in good conscience.  By their motto, they are proud.  Pride is one of the seven deadly sins.

Ants can play football on a ruler.

What channel do new TVs tune to when they’re first turned on?

In Microsoft Word, a red squiggle means that a word is spelled incorrectly and a green squiggle means that there is a grammatical error.  Why do repeated words get a red squiggle?  And how come sometimes it takes awhile for the program to recognize an error?  It’s like the computer is thinking.

Pick any number.  Multiply it by 1.5.  Subtract 1/3 of what you have now.  You are back where you started.

Mint chocolate chip ice cream is usually white when it is made, but is often died green to make it more aesthetically pleasing.

Employers should secretly time how long it takes prospective employees to fill out the online resume and consider this when deciding who to hire.

Can you call yourself humble?

While reading a book (unlike a movie), you can physically see and feel how much longer it is. 

Cocktail Party Effect

The black box in an airplane is actually orange so it can be found more easily.

I like that little shift as you fall back slightly when you come to a complete stop in your car. 

Can you be arrested for disturbing the peace in a war zone?

TRIVIA:  What English word begins and ends with “und?”  The answer can be found online if you give up.

Is it a coincidence that sublime and subliminal sound similar?

The Mind Machine

“It’s the spaces between life that I like the most.”

Cool Hand Luke Warm

Day to day I count away
Monotonous menagerie

Cannibal Hippos?

The term “spelunking” traditionally referred to the scientific study of caves.  It was brought back in the 1940s due to the funny sound of the word.  Serious cave explorers prefer to be called “cavers.”

Create kitchen cabinets that play different music notes when opened.

Imagined Community

“Rx” (as found on prescriptions) originally was an abbreviation from the Latin word recipe meaning “take.”

You should be able to put italics in a text message.

Thirst is a poor indicator of dehydration.

I think Alex Trebek was going to retire but Bob Barker beat him to the punch.  Alex is a pretty vain guy, so he didn't want his retirement to be cast in the shadows by Bob.  Be on the lookout for Alex to retire after another season or two of Jeopardy.

You are reading my past thoughts.  I've already thought what you are now thinking.

Hand Facts!

“Do no harm” doesn’t appear in the Hippocratic Oath.  Also, the original Hippocratic Oath included swearing  to various Greek gods.

Search “Indie Rock Love Songs” in the iTunes store and read the description.

Guess the Group (by its mission statement)

"To represent the convenience and petroleum retailing industry and to provide the knowledge, connections, and advocacy necessary to assist our members in maximizing their effectiveness and profitability."

It costs 1.7 cents to make a penny.

"Am I really all the things that are outside of me?"

Gay Catholic Forum