Breathing Addiction

Winter break ends tonight and I didn't finish the book that I was borrowing from the local library.  I'm excited, relieved, anxious, nostalgic, and a bit worried to be going back.  In another universe, spring semester has gone by and I made it out just fine.  In this universe, I'll be able to say the same thing in what will seem like no time at all.  I could go on to talk about how life is fleeting and how minutes turn to days turn to months turn to years, but... I'm out of breath.

First Snow

Eventually, every day will be a holiday.

I always brush my teeth really thoroughly right before a dentist appointment, as if one day of good brushing will make up for half a year of neglect.  It recently occurred to me that I’m paying the dentist to clean my teeth, so excessive scrubbing beforehand doesn’t really make sense economically.

Personals Ad:  Looking for someone who plays hard to get.  If interested, don’t reply.

There aren’t too many rap songs in irregular time signatures.

The first seven notes of one of Bach’s compositions features the same melody as “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.”

Facebook Stalkers Rejoice

We teach our children to refer to us as “mommy” and “daddy” because it is the standard notion that this is how little kids speak.  Thus, they refer to us as “mommy” and “daddy.”  Thus, we continue to teach them to refer to us as such.

Blackstar Reunited

Does admitting to being a racist get you out of jury duty?

I’m under the impression that professional acting is a competitive field, but I turn on the TV and all the acting I see is crap.

Humans are not interfering with nature.  Humans are nature.

When something is a good value, it is rarely valuable.

Selling drugs is cool, but only if they’re illegal.  There are no rappers who used to be pharmacists in the hood.  (Dr. Dre is a PhD, not an MD)

The price of buying commercial time on a television station should depend on which commercial slot a company is given.  For example, the first commercial after a show cuts away should be the most expensive, because everyone sees at least the beginning of it before they change the channel.

A rationalization is often an irrationalization.

The Shed

"When you are addicted to drugs you put the tiger in the cage to recover; when you are addicted to food you put the tiger in the cage, but take it out three times a day for a walk."

“The name’s Gigli, it rhymes with ‘really’.”

 “It is impossible for a man to learn what he thinks he already knows.”

“The best writers have said very little and the worst, far too much.”