Help!
Bring some rope and a lantern.
On second thought, just a bottle of scotch
and the rope, too.
Using a bathroom with a slimming toilet paper roll is like playing hot potato.
There are 1.07 males for every female in the US.
Do cigarette sales decrease after New Years?
Acknowledging man’s ignorance is not the same as positing a god.
“Nor” is a word that doesn’t sound natural in speech, but is often grammatically necessary to use (as opposed to using “or”). I say we get rid of it.
Are maple trees the only ones that produce syrup? If so, why? If not, why don’t we ever hear about the others?
I see so many people, but so few pregnant women.
Toothpaste for Dinner
Suicide rates actually decrease during the holiday season.
Referees often act as both the police and the judges of their respective sports. Isn't this a flawed system?
Things are the way they are because they have to be the way they are in order to be the way they are.
There should be a video game about starting your own cult. Rockstar Games would make it and it would simply be called “Cult.” You would be able to choose what type of cult it is, how it operates, etc. Fun for the whole family!
How do deaf people communicate when they drive?
Light waves are intrinsically colorless. The observer adds color.
Do font-designers consider themselves to be artists? I want to do that for a living.
I came up with this idea only to find out it had already been invented
“You measure a democracy by the freedom it gives its dissidents, not the freedom it gives its assimilated conformists.”
“I do not paint a portrait to look like the subject, rather does the person grow to look like his portrait.”
“She’s armed with enough credit cards to choke a horse.”
“It’s Seinfeld on crack.”
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