I saw two people simultaneously try to get in the same line. The funny part was that neither person wanted to get behind the other, and they both refused to verbally resolve the situation. Instead, they both tried to passively establish the front place in line by shimmying in front of one another slowly over the course of the minute or so that they were waiting. Then I woke up and wondered why I have such mundane dreams.
The second half of a sports game is always more important than the first half.
There should be a “random video” button on Youtube.
Critics evaluate and review different things; they don’t just point out the flaws of them. Therefore, the words “criticize” and “critique” shouldn’t connote negativity, just judgment.
The shape of a Pringle chip is a hyperbolic paraboloid.
Why aren’t Larry David and Sasha Baron Cohen in more productions?
Bowling is the only sport where the professionals execute the best possible action (i.e. throw a strike) most of the time. If baseball was like that, scores would be astronomical and the games would go into hundreds of innings.
TRUE FACT: I met a 4th generation Napoleon.
Without using a ruler, it’s easier to draw a straight vertical line than a straight horizontal line.
It doesn’t make sense to say that “life is good.” Good is a relative term, and we have no other lives to compare ours to. Even our perceptions of others’ lives are just that: perceptions. They are from our point of view, not theirs.
FALSE FACT: The average black widow spider lives to be older than the average tortoise.
The metamorphosis of her appearance was Gagaesque.
I’m always puzzled when a stranger asks me to watch her stuff “for a second.” Who are you worried about taking it? A stranger. Who am I? A stranger! It must be my honest eyes.
Alarm clocks should automatically stop ringing after two minutes.
The First Rapper Sings
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