What Is Life?

Remember that little wrapper that you threw on the ground the other day? That polychromatic piece of plastic that was still in your hands after you finished eating the snack it encapsulated? You looked over your shoulder briefly to make sure that no one saw you litter it. Ringing any bells? It remembers you. And it’s very angry that you dropped it on the ground when there was a trash can 15 feet away. Why couldn’t you just throw it out? That piece of plastic is going to blow into a river and harm the environment. And the ecosystem. And also the biome. If you had just thrown it out, it would be chilling in a landfill somewhere in New Jersey by now. Thanks for caring.



Pathogenarian: An 80-year-old virus.

“Communism sounds good on paper but when you actually try to carry it out, it never works because people naturally just get greedy.” I’ve heard peers say this over and over again. And it pisses me off every single time. Is this true? Probably. Is this something that I learned in 7th grade after reading Animal Farm? Definitely. Enough, people.

I was blown away to learn as a kid that 2 x 3 is the same thing as 2 of 3.

Sometimes I check my blog to see if there is a new post. There never is.

FUN FACT: Humans can distinguish 10 million different colors.

Urinals should have floor pedals.

I wonder if I’ve forgotten more things than I’ve remembered.

When I put my name in Google, it says “Did you mean ‘air hockey’?”

I hate hearing people tell a story that they already told me. Usually even the inflections of the words and cadence of the sentences are identical. I also wonder how many people they told before I heard it.

The Roots have an album called “Tipping Point” named after the book by Malcom Gladwell.

It started as an epiphany and ended as a magazine subscription.

If you were on Death row, what would be your last meal?

Today I set a new personal record by sneezing 7 times in a row. It made me feel like Esau.

I get confused when black people refer to other black people as “light-skinned.” (I’m not sure if that’s racist but I don’t intend it to be).



"Sometimes I can't find my good habits."

"Gangsta gumbo, I'll serve them a pot of it."

Apathetic Theocracy

I like elevators. To start with, their name summarizes their function pretty well. (However, that is a little unfair, because they de-elevate, as well. [I wonder if it saddens elevators that they are stereotyped as machines that elevate, but if you got to know them, I’m sure you would find that they are widely diverse and entertaining devices]) There aren’t too many other things like that. Chairs are not referred to as “sitters." *

Even more interesting, though, are their social implications. Elevators grab people from all walks of life and force them to stand one foot apart for a period of time. During this not-short-enough time frame, people seem to have different strategies of coping. The most common type involves communicating as little as possible. This involves walking in, staring at the screen that displays the floor, and walking out without saying one word.

Other people try to strike up a friendly conversation. “Can you press four please?” is usually how the exchange starts. Now that the ice is broken, “It’s pretty hot in here.” The conversation ensues for the remaining 15 or 20 seconds. Then you never see that person again. In that respect, it is essentially useless to start a conversation in an elevator with a stranger. However, a similar argument could be made for starting any conversation in general.



How come sometimes being nervous makes me have to pee, but other times, I have trouble peeing when I'm nervous?

I always get an urge to steal that unattended Pepsi truck with the engine running parked on the side of the road.

I never want to be a statue. I've never seen a statue of someone and thought, "Oh man, that guy was cool."

I wasn't sure whether to use the word pee or urinate in my comment above. How come there is no word that is more sophisticated than pee but less sophisticated than urinate? When in doubt, always go with pee.

I want to go flavor tripping.

I once held the record for the world’s youngest person.

Post-modernism is not the same thing as retro-futurism.*

Architecture is like construction, but with art.

Cognitive Biases



Stumble Upon: “The internet is literally surfing itself.”

“No, we don’t need to add 20 saxophone parts to this section.”

*Thanks Chris

White Sidewalks With Halogen

Whenever I don’t do the reading assignment for a class, I always use the “speak first” gimmick, and I suggest you do the same. The first opportunity you get to answer a question or give your input, take advantage of it. Even if you have no idea what the “correct” answer is, use your creative license to interpret the question so that you can give a vague and acceptable answer (see
Forer effect).

For example, if you are reading Descartes’s “Discourse on Method” and your teacher asks whether or not cogito ergo sum is valid, feel free to immediately reply, “Well, in my opinion, Descartes uses implicit reasoning in order to try to prove a point that has already been muted by the earlier works of Plato and Aristotle. He eschews establishing a logical argument in favor of appealing to the reader’s emotions.”

Is this even remotely true? Beats me. Most likely, your teacher will appreciate the references of other philosophers, and there is no way to argue against the fact that someone is “appealing to the reader’s emotions.” It’s your opinion, and opinions are never wrong.



She was the type of girl that would choose salad over soup.

Caffeine is ridiculous right now.

Musings

You can get 2000 plastic bags for $36.10

Nihilism is like poetry; nothing more, nothing less.

I’m only passive-aggressive when it comes to the air conditioning in my dorm room.

I wonder what music the musicians I listen to, listen to.

Hydras and certain jellyfish have "biological immortality" meaning that they can theoretically live forever. There are some life extensionists that hope humans will one day be able to live indefinitely.

What language is the most comprehensive (is capable of expressing ideas the best)? Also, what does English sound like to non-English speakers?

“Papercut” by Linkin Park has a hot beat.

There's a Wikipedia page for "bromance."

Record a cover of a song, where the vocals are replicated with instruments, and the instruments are replicated with vocals. (“The Great Gig In The Sky”)?

Quotes

“Hey, you guys wanna make a power ballad?!”

“It tastes like you’re drinking a Christmas tree.”

“It makes me sound like I’m Aretha Franklin on a big-ass stage.”

“I sing in a style known as vocal ejaculation. I’m just spittin’ out those words.”

Stir Fry First Try

I think it's time for Microsoft and Apple to start making more logical keyboards. The QWERTY keyboard was invented well over 100 years ago for typewriters. It was purposely designed to make people type slower, as typewriters would get jammed if the keys were hit too quickly in succession. With the advent of computers, the QWERTY keyboard became obsolete.

Though many people have become swift at typing on this keyboard, they are not typing at their full potential. This is because common letters like "r," "e," and "t" are not on the home row. If more people began using more logical keyboards, the world as we know it would become much more efficient.

Quotes of the Week

"I'm pretty sure they put Nyquil in my smoothie."

"No, feminism is about not making sandwiches."

Animal Collective Remixes Phoenix

Girl Talk Remixes Grizzly Bear

How did they make the first ruler?

Every character on "The Office" (when first introduced) is unmarried.

Next time you watch a basketball game, only watch one player until he makes a shot. When he finally does, it is very rewarding.

Feats of Strength



"I remember on the trip home on Apollo 11 it suddenly struck me that that tiny pea, pretty and blue, was the earth. I put up my thumb and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet earth. I didn't feel like a giant. I felt very, very small."