Empathy for the Devil

Zealous, contemplative, relieved.  These are all words to describe that feeling that you get when you finish reading a book.  A good book can be an adventure, or at least some kind of a trip.  After investing hours into consuming the ideas of an author, it is extremely satisfying to finally read the last chapter and close the book.  Now, it is up to you, the reader, to interpret the meaning behind the ink.

I have an abundance of time on my hands this summer, so it is nice to be able to spend some quality time with a novel and slowly move my bookmark farther away from the front cover.  The feeling of finishing a book is not quite as exhilarating as climbing a mountain, and not quite as tasty as eating a cupcake, but it is equally as rewarding.  So the next time you finish a book, take a deep breath and pat yourself on the back.  But not if you're in public, or else people will stare.

The Religious Way to Embrace

ImagiNation

Alfred Nobel, for whom the Nobel Prize is named, invented dynamite.

The Zimbabwe Situation

Police in low-crime suburban areas should pick up trash while patrolling on foot, much like security guards at amusement parks.

Is it possible to not be a citizen of any country?

Bill Nye is the current Humanist of the Year.

When an organization states “integrity” as one of their virtues, they are just bullshitting you.  Integrity is basically a synonym for consistency.  It means that the organization does not contradict itself in terms of its ideals.  The Nazis had strong integrity in their beliefs.  Integrity in and of itself should not be a key virtue, as this already should be implied.

Bill Clinton pardoned his brother, Roger, who was in jail for cocaine possession.

This space intentionally left blank.

There is a city in Alaska called “North Pole.”

The on/off switches on lamps should glow in the dark.

It's Working

Why do some coupons have a cash value of a fraction of a penny?

Take Away Shows

 Specialized personal compliments are much more flattering than generic ones.

I’m getting kind of sick of bands that claim that their music does not belong to a specific genre.

Guess the Group:  

To end the extreme oppression of men and boys in mutually consensual relationships.

Quotes

“Never index your own book.”

“Roman candles and empty liquor handles and a way with words.”

“Spit out your lies and chewing gum.”

“Peculiar travel suggestions are dancing lessons from God.”

Summer Daze

The Quietest Place in the World

There should be a common app for jobs in a specific field or pay-range.

A devout Christian cannot be a Marine in good conscience.  By their motto, they are proud.  Pride is one of the seven deadly sins.

Ants can play football on a ruler.

What channel do new TVs tune to when they’re first turned on?

In Microsoft Word, a red squiggle means that a word is spelled incorrectly and a green squiggle means that there is a grammatical error.  Why do repeated words get a red squiggle?  And how come sometimes it takes awhile for the program to recognize an error?  It’s like the computer is thinking.

Pick any number.  Multiply it by 1.5.  Subtract 1/3 of what you have now.  You are back where you started.

Mint chocolate chip ice cream is usually white when it is made, but is often died green to make it more aesthetically pleasing.

Employers should secretly time how long it takes prospective employees to fill out the online resume and consider this when deciding who to hire.

Can you call yourself humble?

While reading a book (unlike a movie), you can physically see and feel how much longer it is. 

Cocktail Party Effect

The black box in an airplane is actually orange so it can be found more easily.

I like that little shift as you fall back slightly when you come to a complete stop in your car. 

Can you be arrested for disturbing the peace in a war zone?

TRIVIA:  What English word begins and ends with “und?”  The answer can be found online if you give up.

Is it a coincidence that sublime and subliminal sound similar?

The Mind Machine

“It’s the spaces between life that I like the most.”

Cool Hand Luke Warm

Day to day I count away
Monotonous menagerie

Cannibal Hippos?

The term “spelunking” traditionally referred to the scientific study of caves.  It was brought back in the 1940s due to the funny sound of the word.  Serious cave explorers prefer to be called “cavers.”

Create kitchen cabinets that play different music notes when opened.

Imagined Community

“Rx” (as found on prescriptions) originally was an abbreviation from the Latin word recipe meaning “take.”

You should be able to put italics in a text message.

Thirst is a poor indicator of dehydration.

I think Alex Trebek was going to retire but Bob Barker beat him to the punch.  Alex is a pretty vain guy, so he didn't want his retirement to be cast in the shadows by Bob.  Be on the lookout for Alex to retire after another season or two of Jeopardy.

You are reading my past thoughts.  I've already thought what you are now thinking.

Hand Facts!

“Do no harm” doesn’t appear in the Hippocratic Oath.  Also, the original Hippocratic Oath included swearing  to various Greek gods.

Search “Indie Rock Love Songs” in the iTunes store and read the description.

Guess the Group (by its mission statement)

"To represent the convenience and petroleum retailing industry and to provide the knowledge, connections, and advocacy necessary to assist our members in maximizing their effectiveness and profitability."

It costs 1.7 cents to make a penny.

"Am I really all the things that are outside of me?"

Gay Catholic Forum

Meatier meteor

• Antonym is the antonym of synonym.
• "Martial arts" literally refers to the art of warfare. The name comes from Mars (AKA Ares), the god of war.
• Can temporary immigrants perform a citizens arrest?
• If you rub two pennies together, you’ll see a third penny between them.
• What would it be like to see for the first time?  Would a blind person be able to understand the concept of vision?  How would they do in a physics of light class?

• We never get a chance to reflect on our choices made in old age.

• Starlings are capable of using grammar with recursion.

“Man, with no support and no aid, is condemned every moment to invent man.”

“Something smells like Pokemon.”

"Mind, Drips" or "Red Bull & Cheerios"

I recently lost my cell phone. Or, more specifically, I tried to claw open the subway doors in a nervous panic as I watched it ride away on the green line towards Branch Avenue. Luckily, I was able to pick it up at a barber shop in DC, thanks to a man named Twin who found the phone.

It was very difficult not having a phone for half a week. This may not sound like a long time, but consider how often you use your phone. My cell phone is not just a phone, but an instant messenger, a clock, a notepad, a game system, a voice recorder, a flashlight, a paperweight, a phone book, and a calculator.

However, it was also very liberating not having a phone for half a week. For example, I was no longer a victim of Phantom Vibrate Syndrome, a disease that is sweeping the nation. If you have not been effected or affected by PVS, consider yourself lucky. Without a phone in my pocket, there was no need to check and see if I just received a text message, only to be disappointed.

In addition, I was without a notepad. Over the years I have become accustomed to typing my thoughts out, one QWERTY character at a time. Without a cell phone, I was forced to try to remember all of my stupid thoughts until I was able to access a notebook; this was surely a fruitless task and a waste of energy. It seems hardly worth it to focus my concentration on a lame pun involving scientific terms that no one uses. It's bad enough that I don't have a waterproof dry erase board in my shower, which is where I seem to come up with my "best" ideas.

The bottom line is that a cell phone is both an electronic leash and a multi-purpose tool. Now that I have one again, I am instantly contactable, for the better or the worse.

Guess the Group
This is a new installment of SITP, which will probably be discontinued shortly, just like all the other ones.  I give you the mission statement, and you "guess the group" to which it belongs.  When you give up, search the mission statement in Google.  Or don't.  I don't care.


Mission statement: "To serve as a resource to the parking industry and our members by offering access to quality education, networking opportunities, advocacy, products and services."


Musings

Albert Einstein was married to his first cousin.

Subjectivity: Math is better than English.

A computer can now detect sarcasm.  Maybe it was taught by the foreign guy from Family Guy.

The combined mass of humans is about 100 million tons.  The combine mass of ants is at least 9 times that number. (under dispute) 

Goal: Try to live nocturnally for one week.

You can’t put the equation “5.x” into a graphing calculator.

Is there any percussion in classical music?

Quotes

“The best government is a benevolent tyranny tempered by an occasional assassination.”

“It’s 4:30 in the morning.  It’s always 4:30 in the morning.”

“What would the opposite of a feminist be?  A masculist?”

“Hell is other people.”

“What are you doing Saturday night?”

“Committing suicide.”

“What about Friday night?”

Which title do you like better for this post?

Mind, Drips

Red Bull & Cheerios

myspace layouts

To Come Next Post

• A new Beyond Belief segment!
• A photo of the Golden Gate Bridge!
• A line graph with a positive correlation!

Chris, I lost my cell phone
(That means that we can't contact each other)
I liked your new blog post though.

A Stranger Stranger

Sidewalk, sidewalk, sidewalk
Don’t step on the cracks.

Sidewalk, sidewalk, sidewalk
Don’t step on the cracks.

Shoes, shorts, sunglasses
Sidewalk, sidewalk, sidewalk
Shoes, shorts, pupils
Ahh!

Sidewalk, sidewalk, sidewalk
Don’t step on the cracks.



Buddha taught his followers not to believe in luck.

When Ethan asked Phil on a date, he got anal.

Agoraphobia is the fear of public places. What is the name for the fear of Greek agoras?

The Spanish word “adios” comes from the phrase “A Dios vais.” This translates to “You’re going to God,” which appears in Don Quixote.

In West Virginia it is illegal to marry your first cousin. In Maryland and New Jersey, it isn’t.

Where do hamsters roam wild?

Occasionally when I type something into Google, I’ll minimize the tab without reading the results, just to build anticipation.

If it doesn't have a Wikipedia page, it doesn't exist.

What is the most important text message you have ever received?

I haven't heard the word "dowel" in awhile.

When citing God as a model for behavior, people tend to interpret God’s wishes as their own.

Information, misinformation, and disinformation

“Your capital letters keep me asking for more.”

"I wish people would spend as much time on their marriages as they would on their weddings."