Metamathematics

"The free realization of human truth is everywhere in all desires." 

-Sartre

I know this one...

When I was a kid, I had no idea that residents of a municipality pay for waste collection via taxes.  Similarly, I was unaware of the fact that businesses and individuals may hire waste management firms to haul away their trash if necessary.  Signs proclaiming dumpsters as “private” were baffling to me as a child because, as far as I knew, dumpsters were (by definition) communal.  I assumed that trash just kind of gets taken care of and disappears, and I never pressed the issue.  

A sundae is an ice cream salad.

Color Illusion

To Do:  Watch one of the shows where the chubby guy goes to different places and gets really enthusiastic about the local cuisine, while I’m eating the same stuff that he is.

If you could visit any place in the world, where would you go?

Everyone is weird once you get to know them.

TV Tropes

The primary function of listening to music, reading, and watching movies is to see where my thoughts will take me.  There is no intrinsic artistic value.

I haven't encountered a racist protagonist who remains racist throughout the work.  If she is racist, it is only so that she may overcome her racism and therefore grow as a character.  

First World Anarchists

Apatheism

“Don’t tell a hype man to calm down.”

-Chris

Blame Latin

Stuttering Help

Every time someone mentions the “internet revolution” in relation to “recent advances in technology” I want to throw a computer at his head.

Brown is actually dark orange.

What’s the shortest an era can be?

Whether or not God actually "exists" doesn’t affect my life, or anyone else’s.

In The Pale King, David Foster Wallace says that if you ask a friend “What’s wrong?” at first they will deny that anything is wrong, but if you persist (“No, something’s wrong.  I can tell.  What is it?”), they will tell reveal that something is wrong, and will share their problems with you.  Ostensibly, there is always something eating at everyone, whether or not we realize it. 

Every time you get a text message, someone was thinking about you.

“A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but fuck your mother.”

I'm never quite sure how big a meter is. 

The NFL and NHL are tax-exempt.

Whenever I’m on Wikipedia looking up people, I always check to see how long they lived first.

Reading:  Symbolic Logic by Lewis Carroll

Listening to:  There's Nothing Wrong With Love by Built to Spill

Writing:  Boring short story

Playing:  Fingerpicked chord progressions

Watching:  David Lynch

Authenticity

Gone Tomorrow

In / O u t

can you see the letters on the dreidel?

do you understand the floats and memes?

connect complete control between the letters

on the dreidel, do you understand?

Meta-meta

“When we first got married, we made a pact.  It was this: In our life together, it was decided I would make all of the big decisions and my wife would make all of the little decisions.  For fifty years, we have held true to that agreement.  I believe that is the reason for the success in our marriage.  However, the strange thing is that in fifty years, there hasn’t been one big decision.”

-Albert Einstein

Source: http://xkcd.com/917

Do you wash your hands before or after you buckle your belt?  It’s important to remain consistent.

Tongue Twister:  British citizenship

You can turn any work of fiction into nonfiction by encasing the text in quotes and adding “someone wrote” at the end.

Analysis Paralysis

RFD:  The instrument used to measure one’s shoe size is named the Brannock Device.

A bed sunken into the carpet that rises slowly like a clock’s hand from 9 to 12.  By the time you’re standing, it’s time to wake up.

Bohemian Rhapsody is about “The Stranger” by Camus.

It's nice to wake up hungry and eat.

A birthday card is belated, a flight is delayed, a project is running behind schedule, a student is late.

The ampersand was derived by squishing together “e” and “t.”

The Fall

 

Kangaroos

                “I drew an octopus cause it has eight legs and they all swim like this – whoosh!”  Billy shot out his arms and blew bubbles, his dungarees rose toward his belly button.

                “Ahh hahaha,” Joe grinned and giggled.  “I drew a penguin.”  He picked up his penguin and held it out with both hands.  Rosy cheek smile end to end.

                “You want a candy?”

                Joe’s eyes widened.  “Whacha got?”

                Billy reached in his pocket and palmed a piece of chocolate, unwrapped and really good-looking.

                “Whoa!  Where’d ya get that?”

                “My mom gave it to me before I got here cause my sister is sick and she wanted candy and my mom went to Super Fresh and got it and gave it to me.”

                Joe started giggling, then Billy started too.  “Toss it to me,” Joe said, taking a couple steps back.

                Billy tossed it - his arc a little too high, the chocolate hit the ground.  “Hurry up and grab it!”

                Joe scrambled to the ground and tried to grab the chocolate.  It slid from his fingers as he tried to scoop the sides.

                “Five second rule!”

                He tried again, but the chocolate slid away.  He grabbed it next try and stood up, outstretching his arm and staring at the chocolate.

                Billy shook his head.  “I think that was more than five seconds.”

                “It’s ten second rule!  I got ten seconds to grab it.”

                “Isn’t it five second rule?”

                “No, it’s ten second rule.”  Joe bended his arm in and looked at the chocolate up close.  “My sister dropped a pretzel on the ground and then she ate it cause she said it was ten seconds and that was fine because of the ten second rule.”

                “Oh, ok.” Billy giggled.  “You wanna draw a kangaroo with me?”

                “Yeah I love kangaroos.”

                “Kangaroos are my favorite animal.  So are frogs.”