Collective Effervescence

This is my 50th blog post!  Well, technically it's my 51st, but one of the earlier ones was more of a Facebook post than a blog post.  Either way, I am still surprised that I had the patience and commitment (and had nothing better to do) to make this possible.

Little did I know that when I was bored one afternoon on The Ocho, I would create something that I would still be working on months later.  On the same day, my friend, Jon, created thelifesaverblog.blogspot.com.  Clearly, SITP is much better, but I still give him credit for trying.

My point here is that, well, ... I guess I don't really have a point.  I just wanted to brag that I've now wasted several hours of my life on something as meaningless as a website filled with musings and pictures I stole from the internet.

So, in conclusion, I'm glad that I've come this far and I look forward to bragging about my 100th post (or 101st on a technicality).

Why aren’t there rippled barbeque chips?

“Two words… or maybe five.”

If you answer three questions incorrectly on “Cash Cab”, you are forced to get out of the taxi, regardless of where it is with respect to your destination.  There are some episodes that are filmed at night.  It would be funny if during one of these episodes, a contestant gets kicked out of the cab in the middle of the ghetto.

Andy Warhol was shot two days before Roger F. Kennedy was assassinated.

It would save all of the companies in any given field a lot of money if they made an agreement not to advertise.

How do cracker taste-testers cleanse their palates?

The Peter Principle

There is a big difference between being self-conscious and self-aware.

Sometimes I watch TV shows that I’m not supposed to, according to my demographic, just to fool the advertisers.

Why are there green arrows on traffic lights at 1 o’clock in the morning?  It would be more efficient to just have green lights.  (If you are trying to drive straight through the intersection, you are stuck with a red light until the green arrow on the opposing side is through.  Most of the time, there won’t be any cars turning left, creating time wasted at an intersection.)

If I was an astronaut that walked on the moon, I would leave a note to future moon-dwellers.

How is that long-term project going for you?  You didn’t start it, did you?  If you did, by now, you could have accomplished something pretty cool.  You should actually start one now.  I’ll check in with you later.

Put the toilet paper rolls higher up.  People use toilet paper while standing, not while they are sitting on the toilet.

My "Wouldn't It Be Nice Cover"

Rebel without Applause; The Copenhagen Situation

If I was playing in the World Series of Poker, I would wear clothing with a bunch of advertisements on it, so that the other players think that I’m really good.

Create numbered plastic cups so everyone knows which is theirs, without having to bust out the Sharpie.

Free speech is expensive.

Why do baseball catchers bother wearing a baseball cap in the first place?  For the other players, it shields sun from their eyes.  The catcher wears his hat backwards, rendering it about as important as a broken wristwatch.

I saw a doctor spit recently.  It was a little uncomfortable.

Sometimes when I’m in an awkward situation (like passing someone in a long corridor where you can see them coming from far away), I start solving math equations in my head.  Figuring out the square root of 256 is easier than deciding how much- if any- eye contact to make with someone that I’m walking by.

Think of something else.

Are mailmen allowed to smoke in their trucks?  I’ve never seen it happen.

Kelsey Grammer, the actor who plays Frasier, was the original voice of the Geico gecko.

Make concert earplugs that blend into your ears (and aren’t fluorescent).  Wearing earplugs isn’t something that people generally want to flaunt.

There is no need to pay a fee to use an ATM.  You can go to a Wal-mart, buy a pack of gum, and get up to $100 cash back.

 “A horse is not a home.”

“My tolerance is pretty high now.  No pun intended.”

“Maybe you’ll find direction where it’s been waiting to meet you.”

“How would you feel… if you parked in a blind person’s spot?”

“Our past is pear-shaped.”

“Maybe for you paper should be more of a hobby.”

Metaleptic Pataphor

Ethnocentrism is the idea that people tend to believe that their personal culture is is the standard against which all is measured.  This concept is implicitly cultivated in the minds of children as they grow up.  It seems that people are naturally hard-wired to perceive the world from a single point of view, and do not try to consider the fact that different folks in different parts of the world in different cultures share different ideals and have different behaviors.


A blind man listens very closely to his surroundings, while a deaf man treasures his sight.  A bat uses sonar to detect where prey may be, while an insect waves its antennae around.  Children in wealthy neighborhoods play tennis, while their peers in the inner city play basketball.  My point is that various groups of people share various customs and have varied values.  This leads to completely eclectic world views.


Because there are so many different personal philosophies, reasons for existence, lists of ideals, etc., it doesn't make sense to hold everyone accountable for the same universal list of values.  Specifically, I am referring any type of law, regulation, rule, or religion that is imposed on a group of people.  I understand that "without any laws, the world would be chaotic."  However, at least in theory, there is no reason why a governing body should determine what someone else can and cannot do.  But I digress...

The maximum penalty for threatening a US judge is 10 years imprisonment.  That is double the maximum penalty for threatening a US president.

Is there a really a big difference between a virus that effects humans and one that effects computers?

Bluetooth devices are named after Harald “Bluetooth” Gormsson, a king of Denmark.  This is evident by the Bluetooth logo, which contains the Nordic symbols for “H.B.”

Bowling is definitely one of the lamest sports.  It is a stretch to say that it involves competition, as your actions are never based on the actions of your competitor.  On every turn, your strategy is identical:  knock as many pins down as possible.  Once you figure out how to bowl a strike, repetition of this action will eventually cause it to become part of your muscle memory.  There is slightly more physical activity than, say, golf, but significantly less than almost any other sport.  Also, most professional bowlers look like cops.

Only the phone numbers 555-0100 through 555-0199 are currently reserved for fictional use.  Other 555 numbers may be actual phone numbers.

With the advent of synthetic opiates, heroin has become passé.  It died out in the 90s with Kurt Cobain.

TRIVIA TIME:

“Tongue,” “dish,” and “Broadway” are all metonyms.  Can you figure out what a metonym is? 

Malcolm Gladwell Interview

I hate when, at concerts, the lead singer points the microphone at the crowd instead of singing the lines himself.  I came here to see you perform.  I can hear myself sing in the shower whenever I want.

Bananas are berries.

The beginning of “Sleepyhead” by Passion Pit features a sample from a Jack Kerouac spoken word album. (0:24 into the video)

The United States does not have an official language.

Fun with grammar!

 

“Put your hands down, bitch.  I ain’t gonna shoot you.  I’ma pull you to this bullet and put it through you.”

“Curiosity killed the cat but for awhile I was a suspect.”

“The search for connections is the search for connectedness.”

Dir. by Spike Jonze

Empathy for the Devil

Zealous, contemplative, relieved.  These are all words to describe that feeling that you get when you finish reading a book.  A good book can be an adventure, or at least some kind of a trip.  After investing hours into consuming the ideas of an author, it is extremely satisfying to finally read the last chapter and close the book.  Now, it is up to you, the reader, to interpret the meaning behind the ink.

I have an abundance of time on my hands this summer, so it is nice to be able to spend some quality time with a novel and slowly move my bookmark farther away from the front cover.  The feeling of finishing a book is not quite as exhilarating as climbing a mountain, and not quite as tasty as eating a cupcake, but it is equally as rewarding.  So the next time you finish a book, take a deep breath and pat yourself on the back.  But not if you're in public, or else people will stare.

The Religious Way to Embrace

ImagiNation

Alfred Nobel, for whom the Nobel Prize is named, invented dynamite.

The Zimbabwe Situation

Police in low-crime suburban areas should pick up trash while patrolling on foot, much like security guards at amusement parks.

Is it possible to not be a citizen of any country?

Bill Nye is the current Humanist of the Year.

When an organization states “integrity” as one of their virtues, they are just bullshitting you.  Integrity is basically a synonym for consistency.  It means that the organization does not contradict itself in terms of its ideals.  The Nazis had strong integrity in their beliefs.  Integrity in and of itself should not be a key virtue, as this already should be implied.

Bill Clinton pardoned his brother, Roger, who was in jail for cocaine possession.

This space intentionally left blank.

There is a city in Alaska called “North Pole.”

The on/off switches on lamps should glow in the dark.

It's Working

Why do some coupons have a cash value of a fraction of a penny?

Take Away Shows

 Specialized personal compliments are much more flattering than generic ones.

I’m getting kind of sick of bands that claim that their music does not belong to a specific genre.

Guess the Group:  

To end the extreme oppression of men and boys in mutually consensual relationships.

Quotes

“Never index your own book.”

“Roman candles and empty liquor handles and a way with words.”

“Spit out your lies and chewing gum.”

“Peculiar travel suggestions are dancing lessons from God.”

Summer Daze

The Quietest Place in the World

There should be a common app for jobs in a specific field or pay-range.

A devout Christian cannot be a Marine in good conscience.  By their motto, they are proud.  Pride is one of the seven deadly sins.

Ants can play football on a ruler.

What channel do new TVs tune to when they’re first turned on?

In Microsoft Word, a red squiggle means that a word is spelled incorrectly and a green squiggle means that there is a grammatical error.  Why do repeated words get a red squiggle?  And how come sometimes it takes awhile for the program to recognize an error?  It’s like the computer is thinking.

Pick any number.  Multiply it by 1.5.  Subtract 1/3 of what you have now.  You are back where you started.

Mint chocolate chip ice cream is usually white when it is made, but is often died green to make it more aesthetically pleasing.

Employers should secretly time how long it takes prospective employees to fill out the online resume and consider this when deciding who to hire.

Can you call yourself humble?

While reading a book (unlike a movie), you can physically see and feel how much longer it is. 

Cocktail Party Effect

The black box in an airplane is actually orange so it can be found more easily.

I like that little shift as you fall back slightly when you come to a complete stop in your car. 

Can you be arrested for disturbing the peace in a war zone?

TRIVIA:  What English word begins and ends with “und?”  The answer can be found online if you give up.

Is it a coincidence that sublime and subliminal sound similar?

The Mind Machine

“It’s the spaces between life that I like the most.”

Cool Hand Luke Warm

Day to day I count away
Monotonous menagerie

Cannibal Hippos?

The term “spelunking” traditionally referred to the scientific study of caves.  It was brought back in the 1940s due to the funny sound of the word.  Serious cave explorers prefer to be called “cavers.”

Create kitchen cabinets that play different music notes when opened.

Imagined Community

“Rx” (as found on prescriptions) originally was an abbreviation from the Latin word recipe meaning “take.”

You should be able to put italics in a text message.

Thirst is a poor indicator of dehydration.

I think Alex Trebek was going to retire but Bob Barker beat him to the punch.  Alex is a pretty vain guy, so he didn't want his retirement to be cast in the shadows by Bob.  Be on the lookout for Alex to retire after another season or two of Jeopardy.

You are reading my past thoughts.  I've already thought what you are now thinking.

Hand Facts!

“Do no harm” doesn’t appear in the Hippocratic Oath.  Also, the original Hippocratic Oath included swearing  to various Greek gods.

Search “Indie Rock Love Songs” in the iTunes store and read the description.

Guess the Group (by its mission statement)

"To represent the convenience and petroleum retailing industry and to provide the knowledge, connections, and advocacy necessary to assist our members in maximizing their effectiveness and profitability."

It costs 1.7 cents to make a penny.

"Am I really all the things that are outside of me?"

Gay Catholic Forum

Meatier meteor

• Antonym is the antonym of synonym.
• "Martial arts" literally refers to the art of warfare. The name comes from Mars (AKA Ares), the god of war.
• Can temporary immigrants perform a citizens arrest?
• If you rub two pennies together, you’ll see a third penny between them.
• What would it be like to see for the first time?  Would a blind person be able to understand the concept of vision?  How would they do in a physics of light class?

• We never get a chance to reflect on our choices made in old age.

• Starlings are capable of using grammar with recursion.

“Man, with no support and no aid, is condemned every moment to invent man.”

“Something smells like Pokemon.”